Birthday Update

I was genuinely planning to update this journal on Landon’s actual birthday, but with all of the different things occurring right now including the house hunt, birthday parties, work commitments, and so on, it has taken me five extra days to find the time to sit down and write a few thoughts. So, instead of simply recapping solely Landon’s actual birthday I will instead take the chance to revisit the activities that have surrounded the past week and Landon’s momentous ascent into life as a toddler.

February 17th, 2005 – Landon’s birthday

Rhiannon and I both decided to take the day off from work to celebrate this special day, how many times does your first child celebrate his first birthday? We spent the day waiting for the forecasted storm to arrive, having breakfast together and opening a few of Landon’s presents from his family. He received a preschool version of an x-wing fighter from his dad, complete with a Luke and R2-D2. Landon immediately discovered that the quickest way to remove the astrometric droid from the vehicle is by inverting the x-wing and removing the droid with a strong bite with his four teeth, a skill he has improved on with successive attempts. Later that morning we went for a long walk, and after Landon awoke from his morning nap we bundled him up and took him to the aquarium. Of course the rain decided to fall exactly as we made our way onto the tangled Southern Californian freeway system, but after a few delays we arrived at our destination. Landon seems to enjoy the aquarium more with every visit. We try to keep him in his stroller as long as possible, but inevitably he escapes and frantically begins to crawl from one display tank to another. Once this happens, he devolves completely into a wriggling mass and we as parents are left to desperately try and control him. I can hardly imagine how this situation will further deteriorate once Landon learns to walk. That evening we shared a family dinner and put Landon to bed, amazed that it had already been a year since we nervously watched him sleep in the hospital bed next to us. He has changed so much from the warm, delicate, cooing pink mass that he was back then - now he has gained a sense of self awareness, coordination and motivation, he displays cognitive thoughts, and carries out self imposed tasks. He amazes me every day.

The last few nights have been particularly stressful with the house situation, and every morning I graciously rush toward Landon’s crib for the precious few moments of the day when I can hug his sleepy little frame and become completely enveloped in how overwhelmingly dedicated I am to loving my son.

February 19th, 2005 – Landon’s party

For the past few months Rhiannon has been planning Landon’s first birthday celebration. The event which was to include family and friends and their kids was scheduled to take place in a park near Rhiannon’s parent’s house and include a jungle themed party complete with blow up animals and a bounce house for the kids. Inevitably of course the weather failed to cooperate with these plans and we were left at the last minute, the night before the party, scrambling for a new, rain protected venue, and with a long list of people to call regarding the change of plans. We ended up having the party at a local pizza place, and after Rhiannon finished decorating the establishment with balloons and streamers it looked very festive complete with the jungle theme still intact. We had over 50 people show up for the party, 40 of whom were adults, so we literally took over the entire facility for a few hours. It was great to bring so many people together to celebrate our son’s first year on the planet, but the number of people combined with the close quarter’s were a little daunting, as it became difficult for Rhiannon and I to visit with our guests as we attempted to make sure that everyone’s needs were met. We both forgot to eat lunch we were so distracted. Landon received a pile of presents that should last him until he enters kindergarten, and enjoyed his first sugary cupcake, completely unaided by adult supervision, which translated into the cupcake being shoved frosting first into his face, followed by several attempts to pound the remaining cake flat with his open palm. A few friends stayed around after to help open gifts and then we journeyed out to a nearby bowling alley and grabbed a quick dinner. It was great to have so many people that influence our lives be present to share in such a special event for us. I still am finding it hard to believe that Landon is a year old.

February 22nd, 2005 – Landon’s year check up

We took Landon to one of his least favorite places for some of his least favorite things this afternoon – today Landon had his year old visit to the doctor’s office today, complete with a few painful shots. Landon checked out well, he measures in at over 29 inches in length, and close to 23 pounds in weight. His growth has definitely slowed considerably since his last visit, but Dr. Mackey assured us that this is normal for this age in a child’s development. All of Landon’s other developmental skills are right on track, including being able to pinch things between his forefinger and thumb, utilizing a few words like mama and dada, and cruising around on whatever’s available, preparing himself to walk.
His fifth and sixth teeth are starting to make a more prominent appearance, and the ensuing teething process has increased Landon’s drool production and need to chew on anything that can find its way near his mouth.

As I alluded to a few times in this entry, our house hunt has not gone as smoothly as we anticipated, with a steady ratcheting up of sleepless nights over the past week. The original home we had placed an offer on we decided to back away from, and fell out of escrow on, so now we are back to stage one of the process, looking for a new building that we can call home. The whole process has called into question our future goals, our financial stability (or lack there of), and what we truly place value upon to create our happiness. The only thing that Rhiannon and I are absolutely sure of is that we want the best for Landon, and are willing to sacrifice just about anything else to make that happen.

February 13th, 2005

Well again I have taken far too long to record all of the events that have taken place in Landon’s development over the past few weeks, but this time for once I have at least a moderately decent excuse. This past week Rhiannon, Landon and I have successfully submitted an offer on a house, and barring any problems with escrow in the upcoming weeks, our family will have a home to call their own. At this point I’m not sure if I’m more excited or terrified; chances are the latter takes a little more prominence in my thoughts right now. We are spreading ourselves thinner than I feel comfortable with financially and the last week has been filled with many sleepless nights were the popcorn ceiling above and my unblinking, tired eyes below, question my sanity regarding this whole decision. The house itself is new and needs little renovation upon moving in, but it lacks a real front yard and the backyard is smushed between surrounding homes. There are plenty of young families in the neighborhood, a good school district, and a secure atmosphere that all fall on the plus side of the board. Most importantly though, our family will have a home to call their own instead of renting space and wasting time in a cave buried somewhere in Irvine. The new place is located in Rancho Santa Margarita, up against the Santa Ana Mountains, with a decent view of the suburban sprawl of Orange County below. I’ve tried to talk myself out of the place several times, but I can’t, and that, more than anything gives me confidence that this is the right step towards building a family home.

Landon has yet to take his first unassisted steps, although he is now a confident pilot of his walkers, racing them back and forth across the carpet and the drive out back. He has learned to wave, and he eagerly gives out high and low fives, although the high variety seem to be his favorite as he aggressively slaps hands and smiles proudly after establishing contact. His grin is now filled with four and a half teeth with a sixth fang desperately close to breaking the surface. We have begun to replace the formula in his bottles with milk, and his diet of solid foods increases daily.

A few weeks back Landon and I had the entire day to ourselves; as Rhiannon took a much needed escape to a spa in La Jolla. The first official father-son day was filled with a few long walks to the lake, some racing around the circle in Landon’s little red car, a lunch visit with my parents at the San Clemente pier which included a close encounter with a brown pelican, and the day ended with a dinner that just the two of us shared at Goro, the local sushi restaurant. We were both exhausted by seven o’clock. It definitely made me appreciate the hard work Rhiannon devotes to our son when I’m not around, it also made me a little jealous of that time as well.

A year ago tonight I restlessly rolled on my pillow, wishing for a few peaceful minutes of sleep. Landon was due to be born on Valentine’s Day 2004, and that night could have been the last night before I became a father, a torch that I was quickly realizing then I would carry for the rest of my life. Landon came a few days later, but I can still clearly remember contemplating that dreamless night, how my life would change after I held my son. I tried to reason it through then, but pathetically now I realize that I had no idea what lay ahead. Perspectives and priorities have changed, new loves developed, old wants have faded. The river rushing around my feet is still crisp and clean and cold; now I just have a new shadow along side me in the stream, a little hand to hold, and a pair of feet that I have to introduce to the water, one drop at a time.