Wednesday, July 28, 2004

July 28th, 2004

Every night before I go to sleep, and every morning before I head off to work, I quietly tip-toe into Landon's room to peek at his slumbering little frame.  It always blows me away how peaceful the little guy looks.  I must admit I'm jealous.  I doubt if I will achieve that level of tranquility again in my life - ever.  More than that though, I get such a strong urge to just crawl into his crib and snuggle up next to him, maybe with the chance of borrowing just a sliver of blissful dreams.  Its definitely a moment of fatherhood that I didn't expect to experience prior to all of this, but those moments in actuality are far more frequent than the preconceived notions surrounding being a dad that I carried with me before Landon was born.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

July 25th, 2004

I think I can sympathize with how Landon must feel when he lies prone on his belly, eyes filled with determination, making such efforts to attain whatever colorful, shiny object sits frustratingly out of his grasp.  Try as he might, his coordination fails, and he remains immobile.   I think that’s a fairly strong analogy for a lot of things in my life, and definitely describes my relationship with this journal.  But I’m back, albeit briefly, and so many things have happened that I can’t do any of them justice with such a belated description.  I’ll try to hit the highlights.

This weekend Rhiannon, Landon and I headed across the channel to Catalina and spent the night in Isthmus Harbor on the Schoen’s boat, Sea Ya.  Jenna and Mike and their son Michael invited us to spend the weekend with them, Jenna is a teacher at Rhiannon’s school, and quickly becoming one of her closest confidantes.  Michael is 15 months old but looks more like he is ready to start preschool.  They are all great people, and we had a relaxing time at the island.  The trip also represented Landon’s first boat trip, which he handled well, often mesmerized by the reflections and contrasts presented by the Pacific.

A few weeks ago the Buhr family ventured up to Downieville, California for a few days of vacation along the north fork of the Yuba River.   My parents, Justin and his girlfriend Jenn, all made the journey.  Downieville is located in the gold country of California, along the western slope of the Sierras, about two hours north of Sacramento.  It is also home to a population of close to 300 residents, and boasts the recognition of coming only 19 votes away from becoming the state capital back in the eighteen hundreds.  The place we stayed at was called the Lure Resort, and is located right on the banks of the Yuba.  It is a beautiful, lush area, and the cabin we stayed in boasted views of pine covered slopes, and the background music of the gurgling Yuba.  It took some effort to arrive at our destination; the drive is close to 500 miles, and over nine and a half hours in duration – quite a trek for a four and a half month old baby.  We timed our drive time to coincide with the cool darkness of night so that he might sleep through the ordeal, a plan that worked exceptionally well, except for the dark circles it left under his father’s eyes.  We spent our time in the mountains relaxing, enjoying time with the family without a strict agenda to follow, we celebrated both Justin and my Dad’s birthdays, and even found a little time to float some flies.  The rainbow trout in the Yuba are striking examples of their species with dark green speckled backs, shadowed underneath by a rosy sheen, and crisp, white tipped fins.  This trip was Landon’s first time on a trout river, and I took the opportunity to immerse him in the wonder of the flowing water as thoroughly as I could, including a private little baptism we shared in a shallow riffle.  It’s hard to describe the satisfaction and enjoyment I received sharing something so special to me with someone so special to me.  Watching his eyes focus and light up at the sounds and smells and sights of the river is a feeling I wouldn’t trade for anything.

We bought a new car this week to replace Rhiannon’s run down Nissan Altima.  We purchased a new, 2004 Honda Pilot.  It’s a great midsize SUV that will allow for us to tote around Landon and all of his growing piles of gear, as well as Dakota, and still leaves space for the addition of a new sibling for Landon in the future.  More importantly the car is rated extremely high for safety, which will allow for me to rest easier as my precious family dodges idiots on the dangerously crowded freeways of Southern California.  Buying a new car is always such a stressful procedure, but I feel extremely confident in our purchase and think it will be the Buhr family chariot for years to come.

Landon’s teeth are making their push to break through his delicate gums, and this brings a new level of discomfort to his inexperienced little life.   All the time he has spent practicing grabbing and shoving different objects into his mouth now produces a purpose – everything that falls into his clutches now is chewed and chomped on with a deliberate and soothing violence.  Unfortunately no white teeth have emerged yet, so we as a family are left waiting for the pain to end.  Other than that, Landon is doing exceptional.  He is gaining weight rapidly and has begun to eat mushy, blended vegetables - right now he is on his first tour of ‘yellow vegetables’, including carrots, squash and sweet potatoes.  Landon is quite the little eater and cries disappointedly when his bottle is drained or his spoon scrapes the bottom of the bowl.

Every time I think I can’t love Landon more – I do.