August 30th, 2004

It’s hard to keep up with Landon and even harder to keep up with this journal. Tonight as I stare at the blinking cursor, I know there are a million thoughts I want to put down, and at the same time, am at a loss for where to begin.

Life with a son is overwhelming, I can’t pinpoint the exact moment, but some time in the recent past my life completed the shift from a self directed progression through adulthood, into a wild orbit spinning tightly around my son (sun). It’s incredible, but all the same, involuntary, Landon has pulled me in like the tractor beam on the Death Star, and left me, just like the Falcon lost in his power of attraction.

We have still yet to officially witness Landon crawling forward. He can push himself up on his knees and rock forward and back, he can push himself backwards – often distancing himself even further from whatever object he is trying to reach, he can spin on his belly, and roll around like a steamroller, but as of yet still no official crawling has been observed by his parents. Landon still has yet to produce any teeth either, although the amount of drool he produces while chewing and smiling and breathing sometimes makes me wonder if he will someday shrivel up like a raisin from lack of hydration. Landon is definitely at the cusp of some big events.

Last weekend Landon and I visited the Santa Ana Zoo, which stands on a few measly acres adjacent to the 5 freeway, squeezed between apartment complexes and traffic signals. The zoo internally is not much more outstanding than its pathetic external surroundings. They have a few monkeys, some farm animals, a bald eagle with only one wing, and a few other wild animals from various random locations around the world. Our visit lasted a little over an hour – but we managed to cover the entire grounds, partly because the place is tiny, and partly because it was a sweltering afternoon and most of the animals took the chance to dodge the heat and sleep in the shade. I realized quickly that Landon had never seen a monkey in real life, so for him to differentiate between the unmoving, hairy, brown back of a monkey from the tree branch it was resting on, was near impossible. He did seem impressed by a large emu, and the waterfalls that were present in a few enclosures definitely caught his eye consistently. I realized that one of the amazing things about having a child will be sharing those first experiences with him. I can only imagine what he will think of his first real live elephant or giraffe or okapi – I can’t wait!

Landon and I went swimming yesterday afternoon in his grandparent’s (Sharp) pool. He continues to enjoy the water, although occasionally a splash of water in his face can send him cringing into his father’s arms. Dakota joined us in the pool as well – Landon appeared a little jealous of her swimming prowess at times, but more often than not, her presence, as usual evoked smiles and giggles. I’m afraid to put his little face in the water, but at the same time I’m morbidly curious to see if he will instinctively hold his breath. Basically the thought of his terrified mother screaming from the pool’s edge as her son coughs out some unexpected water delays this experiment – probably just another strong example of why Landon is lucky to have Rhiannon as his mother.