April 7th, 2004

Today I took a quick spin down good ol’ memory lane. After work, a coworker (Big Wave Dave) and I fought south bound through traffic to get to the reefs of La Jolla. We were going to attend a punk show featuring NOFX and Alkaline Trio at UCSD later that evening, and so decided that a pre-show dip in the surf was called for. The problem was, as it often is - you can’t always coordinate plans with nature, and the surf gods left us staring bleakly at chopped up, wind blown waves. We drove around for over an hour but never paddled out.

The show that night was fun, although the sound inside RIMAC was offensive. The whole evening was touted as a political gathering to “Rock Against Bush”. The bands were great, the political rhetoric a little over the top, and the crowd was somewhat disinterested, but we still had a great time.

The day in general was fairly introspective; it brought back so many memories of my youth. As a kid my parents would always take us to La Jolla to go tide pooling, or fishing, or to just play in the waves. The entire area would always invoke such a sense of awe and wonderment in me then and many of these same feelings still survive today. I do strongly believe that all of these childhood excursions had a large impact on the career path I have followed, and the recreational activities I pursue today.

Being at UCSD again and driving around checking for surf ran me back through my college days as well. My last two years of college were some of the most memorable and eventful years of my life. I grew close to friends that have influenced me, and made me laugh for years following, and hopefully for many years to come. I also met my lovely wife during these years, which has brought a level of sanity and much needed balance to my life.

Basically all of these thoughts and memories came crashing down on me as I pulsed along with the rhythmic punk beats reverberating against the RIMAC gymnasium walls. Without realizing it I have grown up and yet feel like I have so much more growing up to do. I have a son, and a wife, and a shabby career. I have friends and people that count on me for love and support, just as I count on them. And did I mention that I have a son. I want the world for him, as I’m sure that all fathers do. It’s frightening and exciting and incredible to think of the impact I will have on his life – I hope it’s a positive one – I can’t explain how much I care for him. The entire night, whether I was at dinner, or the beach, or the show, the one continuous thought that I couldn’t get out of my head was Landon.

April 11th, 2004

Happy first Easter Landon! We celebrated Easter today by visiting some family, having an early supper with Rhiannon’s parents, and then watching the Padres debut in their new ballpark on national TV by blowing a three run lead in the seventh inning.

Celebrating Easter has become decidedly different that when I was younger, principally by the fact that we didn’t go to mass today. The religious prevalence of this holiday is absent, instead replaced by pastel colored eggs and a rabbit that has a propensity for hiding them. I don’t want to use this time to get deep into the cavernous space that separates Rhiannon and my different views on religion, but suffice it to say, that we don’t necessarily see eye to eye. I completely respect her beliefs, and I hope that in turn she respects mine, but the little guy that gets lost in the middle is Landon. I think Rhiannon and I have been tiptoeing around the issue for awhile now, but sooner rather than later we will need to discuss the extent religion will be present in our son’s life.

As I said earlier, I guess we’re growing up without even realizing it.